April Fool's Day 2003 Edition • Top Story • Fuji and Agfa consider merger • R.R. Donnelley and Creo enter into definitive merger agreement • Apple announces new stealth laptop, Also new iPotty • EFI Acquires Itself • Xerox introduces device for edible printing • Goss, Heidelberg, MAN Roland license new staple machine for newspapers • Adobe releases InDistress 1.0 • Martha Stewart Living and HP partner to bring color toners to all • EPA awards printer environmental award, Printer embarrassed with the attention Free Special GAtSC Launches New Cable Television Channel, Called PrintTV The Graphic Arts Television Show Company (GAtSC) today announced the creation of PrintTV, an exciting new cable station available in most areas of North America. Slated to launch on April 2, the station will carry mostly original programming. more Free Special Government working on print overcapacity problem Industry associations and major family print businesses have been pleased with the progress of a major bill that can finally remove overcapacity from the printing business. more Free Special Stirling-engined iGen3SE Eliminates Electrical Costs For the first time, the speed of a press is not what is making the news. Xerox and renowned inventor Damien Kane have partnered in launching the first real-world application of the Stirling engine. more Free Special Heidelberg -Daimler joint venture, Speedmaster Benz Today, Heidelberger Druckmaschinen announced it has entered into a joint venture with Daimler Chrysler to produce a mobile sheetfed press. more Free Special Print industry leaders cover up serious environmental problem The printing industry and other manufacturing businesses are about to come under pressure from environmental regulators for problems with dihydrogen monoxide (DHMO). more Free Special Hewlett-Packard Mixes Ink and Water and Gets WInk Hewlett-Packard thinks ink and water mix just fine. HP has introduced a water-soluble powder that needs only water to create a new ink the company calls WInk (WaterInk). more Free Special Publishers/Printers Call for Skyscrapers at Retail Checkouts, Self-Scanners "Must Go" Printers and publishers of consumer magazines want more space at the checkout. Consumer magazines are being pushed out of the highly desirable checkout lines at grocery stores and mass merchants by snack food products and even pet food. more Free Special Apple Acquires Xerox, Al Gore Named President Apple Computer announced at a press conference today that it will acquire Xerox. Anne M. Mulcahy, Chairman and Chief Executive Officer of Xerox made the announcement in a short three-minute speech available in QuickTime at www.apple.quicktime.com. more Free Special Presstek’s new ProFire-GPS CTP System: Out-Of-This-World Technology Hot on the heels of Heidelberg’s Saphira Caleidoplate 46 announcement, Presstek has announced some ground-breaking new CTP technology of its own. The new system, called ProFire-GPS, is sure to rocket demand for their direct imaging systems across the planet. more Free Special CLASSIC: THE EAGLE.com Gets $5 Million in Funding, Will Expand, Expects IPO (Written April 1, 2000) Robert L. FitzPatrick, founder and CEO of the well known industry publication, THE EAGLE, announced today the company’s first round of venture capital funding. more Special Note: All these stories are presented in the true spirit of April Fool's Day. None of these stories are true, nor are they intended to reflect the strategy and intent of any real person or company. Our purpose with the April Fool's Edition is to elicit a smile, and we hope you will enjoy our spoof! We are an Equal Opportunity Offender: Our contributors name many industry companies in their stories, none of which should be taken seriously. Please offer your feedback. This was a collective effort by many of our contributors. We decided a universal byline was best since so many helped with each story. Thanks to Gail Nickel-Kailing, Molly Joss, Frank Romano, Cary Sherburne, CAP Ventures, Bill Farquharson, Noel Ward, John Dunn, Paul White, Dr. Joe Webb, Robert FitzPatrick, Steve Aranoff, Vince Marini, Jeremy Smith, John Zarwan (The television image provided by Ablestock.com) GASC