Several weeks ago I asked for anecdotes about your harrowing, hilarious or just plain helpful tales about paper. Thanks for your responses. Here are 5 of those stories:

TALE #1 "MENU, SIR?" Early in my print sales career, I had a client who wanted to print a menu on brown kraft paper for a company's chain of restaurants, which we did. When I got my samples, I found out that there are different kinds. Unfortunately, the "water resistant" brown kraft with ugly blue- green streaks in it was not what she had in mind for her menu!

TALE #2: "TO SUBSTITUTE OR NOT?" We sat down with a printer and did a very careful paper review, then specified a special-order paper for our business cards and note cards. We paid a premium and agreed to a longer delivery time - no problem. THAT was the paper that we wanted. Alas, the paper was not available, and the printer substituted what he thought was a match. It wasn't.

I was furious because the substituted paper gave a much cheaper feel to the product. Also, the printer never discussed it with us - he just did it. Perhaps the printer's order form should include an optional box that says "this customer is extremely fussy/hysterical/wedded to _________ paper.". . .This substitution caused me about 8 extra hours of labor - running to and from the printer, picking a second paper, discussing the job, etc.

TALE #3: "BIDDING WAR" Our college prints 15,000 alumni magazines three times a year. The inside prints 2/2 throughout, and the cover prints 4/4. This is a costly job and an important vehicle to our alumni. We want the paper to be a nice white coated sheet, but not a gloss sheet. With this large a quantity, the paper cost can reduce or increase the price of printing by thousands for each issue.

In a bidding war over last year's winter issue, I received one price that was about $3,000 less than the others. The printer's reason for the cost savings was a special purchase of paper used as their house sheet. I was assured it would run and the appearance would be as acceptable as the patina matte we had used in a previous issue. Well, after we printed that issue with them, we found out that they'd used a paper that was a second sheet.. .There were flaws such as lines, ridges, spots, etc., that could be seen when you held the paper close to your eye.

Moral of the story: if it seems too good to be true, it probably is. You get where you pay for. Now I will always ask if the printer is using a second sheet even when I'm told that it's their house sheet.

TALE #4: "O-O-O-O-KLAHOMA!" In the summer of 1995, paper prices where on the rise, and printing companies were going crazy to figure out how to save some money. At the time I was working as an intern at a printer in Oklahoma City. They produce large catalogs and books and are completely offset web.

They had a large warehouse to store rolls of paper, but to try and get paper before the prices got too out of hand, upper management decided it was cheaper to buy as much paper as possible and then pay to rent another warehouse. So an order was placed for 45 boxcar loads of paper. Now I don't know how many rolls or pounds of paper that is, but a boxcar can hold 10 medium-size automobiles – so I'm guessing that adds up to a lot of paper.

The paper was delivered mid week and placed in the warehouses. Now, you have to remember: this is Oklahoma we're talking about. In the Oklahoma state song it says, "while the wind comes sweeping down the plains," and that is not an exaggeration.

The following weekend a huge wind storm blew through Oklahoma City and ripped off the roofs of the warehouses and then proceeded to dump 2 inches of rain on all that paper. Needless to say, all of it was ruined. Of course the paper was insured, but by the time an insurance company could process the claim, paper costs had already gone up another 10%, and when you talk about 45 boxcar loads of paper, well, that adds up to a huge loss.

TALE #5: "TEST IF YOU'RE CONCERNED" I recently did a job for a designer. It was a pocket folder, and the designer spec'd Neenah duplex cover stock, and the folders were to be foil embossed with a logo. This particular Neenah cover stock is very heavy, double thick 80# in black and 80# in tan on the inside. We could not get the foil to stick to the cover stock: it kept picking. We tried several different foil manufacturers and different imprint methods (blind hit then foil, different temperature on the foil for adhesion, 2 hits, etc.). We did finally get it to work to the customer's satisfaction, but it turns out that certain stocks have a very high recycled content, and this happens to be one of them, plus it's super thick. Stocks with a high recycled content make it very difficult to adhere to. Lesson: if possible, do a test before considering the stock.

Thank you all for your paper tales. We all stand to learn from your experiences, whether we're purchasers, users, or suppliers of paper.