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Podunk Printers Announces Purchase of 56k Modem: Dial-Up is Not Dead, Says Owner

Wednesday, April 01, 2015

Press release from the issuing company

Big city printers get all the attention, but rural printers have unique problems that create strong relationships with core customers. “Not everyone can afford that highfalutin' high speed cable service, and there's some parts 'round here where there’s no cable at all. That's why we have dishes, some of them made by a company called Creo (see prior story LINK) trying to grab some Internet signal from satellites, but it’s not reliable, especially when those storms come through the way they do now and then. So we use dial-up with the fastest modem we can find. Now that everyone is on cell services or broadband networks, we find that the land lines are empty and we can do just fine with our modem. Plus, we love the sound. The Internet has no noise any more, but when we connect to it and a visiting customer hears us connecting (LINK TO AUDIO), they know that we're not playin' around. We're on the 'net, and we're on it for real.” The company finds 56k modems on eBay and at yard sales because graphic arts vendors and their dealers to not call on rural printers as frequently as they used to. Podunk Printers also purchased a Compugraphic 7500 phototypesetter. “It's not real typesetting unless some of the characters seem just a microscopic bit out of line.”

Editor’s Note: This news item is part of WhatTheyThink's 2015 April Fools Edition.

 

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